Ever feel like you're a failure? Like everything you've took pride in being and having is all just fake. Illusion you made up to make you feel better about yourself. Like the person everybody thinks you are, isn't you at all. You start to wonder maybe you've given yourself too much credit all this while.
I've been trying real hard to just locate and identify, the exact moment in time, when everything just spiraled out of control. How I'm slowly losing everyone and everything, including myself. I'm trying to think of the defining action that made all the difference, the one action that put my world upside down.
Maybe it was just waiting to happen. Maybe I had it coming. Me and my oblivion, my ignorance, my never noticing the things and the people around me, until they're not there anymore. Me and my habit of always chasing after the things that I don't have.
I did have it all. And now I feel like I've screwed everything up. It's amazing how much wreckage one person can do to his/her own life. I should know. I'm well on my way there.
I've been trying real hard to just locate and identify, the exact moment in time, when everything just spiraled out of control. How I'm slowly losing everyone and everything, including myself. I'm trying to think of the defining action that made all the difference, the one action that put my world upside down.
Maybe it was just waiting to happen. Maybe I had it coming. Me and my oblivion, my ignorance, my never noticing the things and the people around me, until they're not there anymore. Me and my habit of always chasing after the things that I don't have.
I did have it all. And now I feel like I've screwed everything up. It's amazing how much wreckage one person can do to his/her own life. I should know. I'm well on my way there.
2 comments:
hey hey. u didnt lost anyone just yet. u still have us no matter what. though i truly understand how u feel. i sometimes felt like i lost myself, like i'm not who i used to be or what other people had been thinking of me. it sucks. but u know what sometimes we just need to look at the big picture here. life can be sucky but im sure there are other great things going on about u. maybe ure just focusing on the bad stuff and not being totally fair to yourself by giving credits to yourself. plus, there's no such thing as giving too much credits. because i know, u girls have a lot going on and worth each and everything u worked for. so, u girls definitely deserve all the credits. i, myself is struggling very hard right now. a few seconds ago i just cried coz i felt like a total failure nowadays esp for my studies.then i realised its okay to feel like a faiure once in a while. it help us to identify ourself in a way and from that we can improve and be better in what we do. if im trying to get my groove back on, so do u. let's do it together! i know you can do it. everybody fails and lost sometimes, just make sure u dont give up :) u still have us girl, always.
failure leads to success. if we never fall, wont we forget where we stand? wouldn't it result to us being cocky?
chasing after things that we don't have is human trait. humans are never satisfied with what they have, and always wanting what others own instead of being thankful. we only see what others have and their happiness, do we know the hardship they go through? nobody lives a perfect life. that's fairy tale.
sometimes it's just our own self that think we've failed, and that we've lost it all. look from another angle, with a different perspective, and search for positivity in every single ordeal. you'll definitely find something that'll give you hope, even if it's just a little.
a wise person once said "never compare yourself with another person, compare yourself with the previous you. be thankful if you can say I'M BETTER THAN I WAS" because that's what matters most.
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